genuine hope
March 12, 2006there’s actually hope. i feel so glad now despite all the sadness enveloping me as i think of going away. but there’s hope. i promised michypie i wouldn’t tell you that i knew about the things you said the other night. i can’t help but smile that you also hope and that you won’t really open your heart for someone else.
even though we don’t admit it, how ironic it is that you have the same intuition as mine. :b it gives me great pleasure to be aware of your thoughts…though you have no idea that i do. i laugh at myself for ever doubting God. He has given me too much…so why the heck do i hesitate and distrust?
i’m delighted you made areservation to not have girlfriend until you have a stable job… but will i be too late? when i come back…will you have another? those suspicions just show my disbelief in God. how foolish of me to think that. pardon me for being too bold, but i can declare that my skepticism is just too possible. though i dare not wish for it to be true, how can it not when i am distant from that who dare not wish to love another?
i cannot fathom this dread that surrounds me heart. do you not see how much uncertainty the situation has caused upon me? upon us? though strange as it may seem…amidst all the turmoil in this world, i still see a spark of hope for us. if you would just believe in your heart that i would come back. i will come back. then maybe, if the Lord finds favor in us… He would bless our relationship.
phooey, if there really is a relationship to begin with. haha. how paradoxical. i dare not venture into your thoughts no more for it bewilders my mind… so as to wonder my heart as well? i know not how to explain further. it’s just incongruous. but i am ecstatic. bizarrely on cloud nine thanks to you, your clandestine notions and optimism. ;’)
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send me a pm… 
Haay…. Minsan… I feel sorry sa mga ganyan. You know, u like someone and u just can't tell them. Parang there's the scary thoughts and doubts occuring in your big head which u don't know which makes it up. Haay. Sana… u find a way to ur happiness… u and him… Love u patty…
Posted by Angel at March 13, 2006, 2:28 pm